


Too Afraid to Ask

by SeverusSnapeFan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidents, Age Regression/De-Aging, Cute Harry, Deaged Harry, Desperation, Embarrassment, Gen, Kid Fic, Omorashi, Small bladder, overactive bladder, shy bladder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-24 16:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4926820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeverusSnapeFan/pseuds/SeverusSnapeFan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having lived with the Durselys all his life Harry doesn't know what to expect after his godfather is awarded custody of him. All he knows if he needs to stay on top of things, he doesn't want to give the man a reason to regret his decision. But sometimes, your body decides for you.</p><p>(I suck at summaries, at least this one)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry was ecstatic, Peter Pettigrew was captured and currently in Amelia Bones office and Sirius his Godfather, was free and declared innocent and exonerated of all charges and the ministry even paid him $50,000 for every year he was there and when he was on the run. He was now in the custody of Sirius and he couldn't be happier. 

Right now Sirius, Harry, and Remus were taking a train to one of the many Potter houses to stay for the summer since most of the Black houses had a lot of dark artifacts in the Manors. Harry could finally be a kid again, and he loved every minute of it. The train ride was 7 hours and they were only 3 hours in when Harry felt the urge to use the toilet really badly.

He was really starting to regret drinking all that pumpkin juice with breakfast and the 2 cokes he had on the train moments earlier. Sirius was asleep and Harry knew that he hadn't been sleeping well due to his nightmares of Azkaban and didn't want to disturb him. Remus was reading a book, and Harry didn't know what to do. 

At the Durselys he was always told when to go and he could never ask anything otherwise he would be punished; "freaks like him don't get to ask questions" was always Aunt Petunia's answer. He was terrified and it wasn't helping his bladder situation by worrying, since he had to go really really bad. He was 13 for Merlin's sake he was not going to pee his pants, he just wished they would get there soon, and he wondered did this train even have toilets?

He finally gave in to the urge to grab himself and sat there facing the wall face burning and wiggling on his seat for all it's worth, all the while trying to stop the tears that had suddenly appeared in his eyes from falling down his face. His stomach really hurt now and he didn't have a clue on what to do. Was he allowed to ask if he could use the loo? Would his Godfather get angry that he couldn't hold it? He didn't want to embarrass Sirius or Remus so he just stayed silent and kept his situation to himself. 

Remus was sitting in the compartment across from Harry book open but mind not on it, he was rethinking on his life so far and even though he had a rough few years , it was starting to look up for the two faithful and remaining Marauders. 

Sirius was free and Harry was away from Petunia and her horrible family; they would all be the family that Lily and James would want them to be. Sirius was dead to the world for which Remus was grateful he needed his rest Azkaban had not been kind to his dear friend and he needed help with Harry which is why Remus was there and he was glad to do it. Speaking of Harry, Remus could hear a faint sniffle the smell of salt water coming from his direction by the window. He wondered what could be wrong and how he could help when he saw Harry almost fall off the seat on account of his moving around so much. He could hear him, thanks to his werewolf senses that Harry were saying over and over again that he can hold it.

"Harry, you ok cub?" Remus wanted to know if he could help him out.

"'I'm fine Professor" was his tearful reply.

"Harry you don't have to call me professor in the summer, its Moony or Remus ok cub? And you didn't answer my question, what's wrong?"

"I understand, I'm just not feeling that well is all, I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"You didn't disturb me I wasn't really reading anyway, I'm going to get a coffee, I'll bring you a cup of tea back that will help soothe your stomach ok? Do me a favor and watch Sirius for me."

"K, I will."

Remus shook his head and closed the compartment and was just about to walk away when he saw Harry stand up and start jumping up and down in place all the while holding on to himself like he really needed the loo. I'm an idiot Remus thought of course he needs the loo, he's a child his bladder isn't as strong as ours. The real problem was why didn't he just ask? 

He quickly bought his coffee and Harry's cup of tea even knowing what his problem now was and it wasn't an upset stomach. He power walked the way back to their compartment where he noticed Harry was in a right state whimpering with tears coming down his face and he was unable to keep still. But before Remus could tell him where the toilets were, Sirius woke up from all the noise.

"Kiddo?" "What's wrong?" Sirius sleepily asked.

"N-N-Nothing is wrong sir." Was Harry's shaky reply.

"If that's the case then why are you crying and jumping up and down, and stuttering?"

"I don't know…"

"Why don't I believe you and why the heck are you calling me sir?"

"I'm sorry" was his now whispered reply.

Harry was very noticeable distressed and at this point even Sirius could figure out was wrong with him, but he was confused as to why Harry didn't tell them that he had to go it wasn't a problem, he was a kid and he couldn't hold it that long, Sirius could understand that, why couldn't Harry?

"Why are you crying Harry?"

"I'm fine ok?

"No Harry, you're not ok, why didn't you tell us you had to go? We wouldn't have gotten mad at you; you don't have to be embarrassed it's natural."

Harry was horrified he had woke his Godfather up and he was probably going to get it now, he couldn't stop the small whimper that came out as some pee accidently dripped out. He couldn't help but feel that Sirius was only saying that and that he had embarrassed him by not being able to hold it. He was a teenager not some little kid, and that made him cry a little bit harder. Sirius made to hug him and tell him that it's ok to ask but when he hugged him he accidently pushed against Harry's stomach causing his poor godson to yelp out loud and curl up in a ball on the floor.

Remus had enough if they didn't get Harry to the loo they would be cleaning up the floor and Harry's clothes and that wouldn't help Harry's already low self-esteem. He picked Harry up ignoring the protests of Sirius and walked as fast as he could to the loo. Harry for his part was still saying he could hold it under his breath. He opened the Handicapped stall undid Harry's belt and trousers and led the still shocked child to stand in front of the toilet where Harry then let out a huge air of relief as he relieved himself. Remus, facing the wall so as not to humiliate Harry any further asked him;

"Why didn't you say you had to use the loo?"

"Because I was always denied at the Durselys if I asked and I didn't want to get in trouble with you guys on my first so I was too afraid to ask."

"Not here Harry, we will never deny you that right. Just another thing the Durselys have to pay for."

 

Harry sniffled and flushed the toilet, he turned around knowing his face was flaming and kept looking at the ground. They walked out the stall where he washed his hands and they started back towards their compartment. Harry dreaded having to see Sirius again, he didnt want to talk about this with anyone, it was bad enough he almost wet his pants not 10 minutes ago.

"Kiddo, are you ok? Moony, why did you push me?"

"I'm fine sir," Harry replied.

"Because you were making it worse Siri, and I didn't know how long Harry could hold it," Remus replied.

"Stop calling me sir Harry, you haven't done anything wrong. I know Moony already told you this, but you never have to be afraid to ask for the loo. I promise we will never deny you that right, understood?"

"Yes Sirius, I understand."

Harry settled back in his seat, relived in more ways then one and ready for the best summer he ever had.


	2. Chapter 2

After that embarrassing episode with him almost wetting himself, Harry was happy when both Remus and Sirius dropped off to sleep. He was reading through his book; Quidditch Through the Ages, and found himself slowing falling asleep as well. He woke up however when the train jerked once before announcing Devon as the next stop. And as that was theirs he didn’t want to fall asleep and have them miss it.

He looked at his godfather and former teacher, wondering how they were able to stay sleep. He shrugged, figuring he would always be a light sleeper considering his upbringing. His godfather knew a tiny bit about the Durselys and he was trying to keep it that way, he didn’t want to explain what they did to him. Because he was basically safe now that he was with Sirius, he didn’t want to open up that can of worms.

He was under no allusions, he knew how the Durselys treated him couldn’t be anything but abuse. He just didn’t want to bring his godfather into that, the man had already been through so much. He really didn’t want to burden Sirius with more information about his relations. Trying to think of something else had Harry wiggling on his seat. His bladder effectively drawing his thoughts away from his appalling relatives and bringing his complete focus on it.

He had always had a small bladder ever since he could remember. He always had to go as soon as he woke up in the morning, or after a nap or something. It was a nuisance the times that he went on a car ride with the Durselys. As they had hated to stop for him, but Uncle Vernon would rather stop then have the freak pee in his car. He didn’t understand why his body was like this. It was like when he was sleeping his bladder decided to fill itself up, for some unknown reason. He was thankful that he never wet the bed as he knew Uncle Vernon would have hurt him for that. He groaned softly before looking at his watch, to check out the time.

The conductor had said that they would be arriving at their station in about 45 minutes. He had time and though he now knew he could leave the compartment, Remus had said he had to tell them when he did. But how was he going to do that when they were sleeping? He didn’t want to wake either of them up as they both had their own set bags under each eye and he sighed once more at his situation. Not to mention he just didn’t like asking, he guessed it all stemmed from the idea, of what was the point of asking for something you knew the answer too, and it was never a yes.

Harry whimpered suddenly knowing that if he stayed here any longer he would have a puddle underneath him. He took a shallow breath, going through his options once more before deciding. Standing up he quietly made his way out the compartment, trying to shut the door silently. He gave himself a quick squeeze before running back towards the toilet that Remus had taken him last time. He burst through the doors and headed towards a stall and a few moments later he was relieving himself with a happy sigh of relief.

Meanwhile back at the compartment, Remus had woken up when the door shut, but he didn’t think anything of it until he realized that Harry wasn’t in the compartment with them anymore. He gasped loudly as he pulled out his wand as he looked around in horror.

“Sirius, get up! Where’s Harry?” He asked the sleep leaving from his brain so quickly it was as if it was never there.

“What do you mean? He’s right where he was Moony,” Sirius grumbled tiredly, his eyes had yet to open.

“Harry is gone Padfoot, what if someone took him? Why did I let myself fall asleep?” Remus said angrily as the man next to him finally opened his eyes only to turn their now childless compartment.

“I’ll go search the train, dear Merlin,” Sirius said his exhausted body protested as he stood up. Nothing was going to stop him from looking for his godchild. He wasn’t going to lose Harry, he had just got him back.

“Good idea, I hope he’s just…” Remus trailed off as the door to their compartment was pulled opened to reveal Harry Potter staring at them both in shock.  
“Harry James Potter, where the hell did you go? You know better than to walk out without saying something,” Sirius said quietly, his eyes narrowing as he looked at his godson. He allowed his tired body to fall back on the seat, but his glare never left the emerald eyes that were staring back at his blue ones in shock.

Harry for his part was looking like a deer caught in headlights. He couldn’t have been gone what 5 minutes, and weren’t they supposed to be sleeping?Why had they woken up so quickly? He shook his head as he looked at his serious (no pun intended) godfather. He swallowed hard, his face flushing as he stood there quietly. He couldn’t believe that he was already in trouble, and he hadn’t yet done anything.

“Well are you going to answer me or not?” Sirius said a bit louder, allowing a bit of his irritation seep through into his tone.

“I…I had to use the toilet, you guys said I could go whenever I needed to,” Harry blurted out before turning his gaze to the floor as he hung his head. Maybe he had been mistaken, maybe he had only imagined that. He swallowed thickly, wondering how much trouble he was now in. How could he had heard wrong?

Remus stared at the bowed head with a sigh. “Yes we did, but I also told you to let one of us know when you need to use it, specifically for this reason,” he told him sternly. How could Harry be so careless about this? Didn’t the child understand how serious this situation was?

“What reason?” Harry asked softly, though he couldn’t bring himself to look his Professor nor his Godfather in the eye just yet. He had remembered how it felt to have their glares directed at him and he didn’t like it.

“You worried us both half to death and we thought someone had taken you against your will,” Sirius said frowning at Harry as if it was obvious..

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just you both were sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you,” Harry babbled worriedly. He was such an idiot, how could be so stupid? He hated how he was always messing up. What if his godfather decided that he was too much work, would he give him back to the Durselys? Would his relatives even take him back? He knew the answer to the latter and once more the answer didn’t began with a y.

“We wouldn’t have cared Harry, I would have welcomed it. Next time you will, or you will be grounded mark my words,” Remus said firmly as he stared at Sirius to see if he would dispute his words. He had a feeling that the man wouldn’t, but everyone knew that Sirius was more or less still a child himself. Which made him a bit unpredictable, especially when it came to Harry.

“Yes sir,” Harry replied unable to see the exchange of silent conversation as his head was still bowed. He was ashamed to say that he couldn’t summon his Gryffindor courage to look up. He knew by their tone that they weren’t angry anymore but he was still apprehensive about the whole thing.

Sirius didn’t care, if anything he welcomed that Remus had laid down the law so to speak. He wasn’t really interested in being someone’s father, so he left the disciplinarian part to Remus like always. It helped that sometimes Remus saw him as still a kid, so he had a feeling this would work out.

“I won’t do it again,” Harry answered softly as he took a seat. He sure wouldn’t, he would try his hardest next time to just hold it in. Speaking of grounding it made him curious of how he would get punished here, he knew it would be nothing like his relatives house but he still would rather know the details upfront.

“You’d better not,” Remus said in a final tone before he relaxed his stance.

Harry sat silently in his seat, turning his gaze to the window as the announcer let them know they had about half hour until their stop. He didn’t look up as he heard the two men in the compartment starting to pack up their things. He felt like a little child, having gotten scolded for doing something they told him was allowed. Inwardly he knew he was being ridiculous he knew the rules before he walked outside of the compartment. All he had to do was tell them, or leave a note on some parchment or something.

Harry didn’t bother talking to either man, not that they were talking to him. He grabbed his bag making sure he had everything he brought with him as he waited for the train to stop so they could get off.

He stayed quiet as they all climbed off the train, staying close to Sirius and Remus. He had noticed quite early on how they had them shielded from everyone else. He was in the middle of them, but he wasn’t complaining at the moment. He was curious to know where they were staying.

All he knew was that it was a Potter house, as Sirius only had dark artifacts in his houses, that he didn’t want him exposed too. Harry wasn’t complaining, after that whole fiasco in the 2nd year, Harry was fine if he never came in contact with a dark item in his whole life. But as Voldemort seem so hard pressed to get him, he didn’t that that was likely.

They continued walking until they entered the train station where he stayed with Sirius as Remus went to go get them a car. Harry sat there boredly, wishing that whatever was taking so long would be finished. Just when he thought he would die of boredom, he felt someone gently shake him. He opened his eyes, to look at Sirius who was gesturing for him to get up.

“Are we done now?” Harry asked neutrally.

“Yeah, Moony has a car for us. C'mon,” Sirius told him as he started walking towards the doors.

Harry grabbed his bag and quickly ran after him, not wanting to get left. Even though he was sure they wouldn’t leave him why would he risk it? He yawned as he followed Sirius, glancing at the man curiously as he stopped. It took him a moment to wonder why until he saw the car. He shrugged as he got into the backseat, pushing his bag to the other side as he buckled up.

“How long is the car ride going to be?” Harry asked curiously, hoping it would be quick. He was just so excited and wanted to be there already. Not to mention after sitting on the train for the past 5 hours, he just wanted to be up and doing something. Sitting down for a long time didn’t sound fun in the least.

“About an hour and a half, maybe more if we have traffic or if we decide to stop for any reason,” Remus told him honestly.

“Oh, well we won't have to stop,” Harry told him confidently.

“How do you know that cub? You might find yourself needing a wee before we get there,” Remus told him truthfully.

Harry blushed but he shook his head vehemently from side to side. “No I won't,” he promised.

“Never say never cub,” Remus warned him.

Sirius chuckled and though he agreed with Remus he wasn’t getting in it. He just hoped Harry would have the sense to tell them to pull over instead of saying nothing and having an accident. He reclined his seat back a bit, trusting Remus completely.

“Well you guys can argue all you want, I'm however going to take a nap,” Sirius told them as he closed his eyes.

“Haven’t you slept enough already Sirius?” Harry asked, with a bit of whine in his voice. He had been hoping that Sirius would be able to keep him entertained during the ride.

“No, if you remember my sleep got interrupted by someone who decided to leave and not tell tell anyone where he was going,” Sirius said turning around to give Harry a pointed look.

“Oh yeah,” Harry said softly, his earlier blush had faded and had gave way to this new one, as he stared at his feet. “Sorry,”

“Its fine Harry, you know the rules now and I don’t need to repeat them again. In the meantime I am going to sleep and I'm sure Remus wont mind talking to you,” Sirius told him as he yawned and closed his eyes once more.

Harry nodded but didn’t answer as he looked out his window to see them get on the freeway. He sighed as he reached over to grab his book, and soon picked up where he had left off.

Harry had been reading his book for about 15 minutes when he too, found himself nodding off to sleep. It wasn’t until the 5th time when he had jerked his head back once more to keep himself up when he heard his Professor's voice.

“Just sleep Harry, I'll wake you when we get there,” Remus told him after watching the child fight sleep in the past ten minutes.

“I can't,” Harry mumbled sleepily.

“And why not?” Remus asked a bit concerned.

“Because I don’t want too,” Harry replied weakly. He didn’t want to explain that as soon as he woke up he would need to relieve himself immediately. He wasn’t even sure just how he could explain it without coming off strange.

“I don’t care if you don’t want too. You're obviously tired, now I want you to go to sleep. The sooner you sleep, the sooner you'll get there,” Remus told him firmly.  
Harry made a noise of protest but didn’t have the energy to fight it and soon allowed his body to rest.

Remus shook his head as Harry finally drifted off, wondering just why the boy was being so stubborn about staying awake. He hoped it was nothing bad, because they could all use a bit of the break from all the dramatics. He turned the radio on low an continued down the road. He sang along to a tune softly, not wanting to wake up his two sleeping passengers.

~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~

Harry woke up to the sound of beeping horns, frowning as he realized that his good sleep had been interrupted.

“What's going on?” He mumbled tiredly.

“A car stopped ahead, and blocked a whole lane,” Sirius told him as Remus had his head out the window in an attempt to hear how everything was going.  
“How long has this been going on?” He asked as he yawned, looking at the cars around him all at a standstill.

“About 20 minutes, we would have been there. Our exit is 2 miles from here,” Remus told him tiredly because he was fed up with what was going on. And this is why he preferred to travel the wizarding way.

Harry wiggled on his seat, as he listened to Remus talk. He frowned, as his hand rested on his lower stomach. He wasn’t stupid and he was very much aware that his bladder was ready to be emptied. He sighed, but there was nothing he could do for it.

“What happens if we don’t ever move?” Harry asked worriedly.

“Trust me we will Harry, it’ll just take a moment,” Remus said surely.

“Just relax kiddo, try to go back to sleep,” Sirius suggested.

“I can't I'm awake now,” Harry insisted.

“Well are you hungry or thirsty? Check inside the brown bag on the floor and grab something,” He told him, figuring food would keep the small teen quiet.  
Harry shook his head, but he had caught the unspoken hint. Sirius was tired of him asking questions, and he had remembered how tired his godfather had been so he would humor him for the time being and would shut up.

He whimpered to himself as he tried to control his squirms, but it was getting progressively worse as he sat there and pretended nothing was wrong. He knew in his heart, that continuing like he was, he was going to end up with a wet seat and soiled clothes. And 13 year olds didn’t do that all. He took a deep breath mustering his Gryffindor courage before he spoke.

“Sirius can we stop?” Harry blurted out in the stillness of the car.

Sirius turned around to give Harry a look. “We have stopped pup,” he said slowly.

“I know, but I mean somewhere else,” Harry replied with a small blush creeping on his cheeks.

“Where do you suggest Remus go Harry? We're kind of stuck in the middle of traffic,” Sirius pointed out.

“I know,” Harry replied softly, before sighing.

He leaned his head back on the backseat, as he wiggled around on his seat. He didn’t know what to do, and for the first time he wished for that spell that Madame Pomprey used to dispel the waste from her patient's stomach. He gripped the sides of his jeans and clenched them tight, his situation was bad and he was anxious for the ride to be over.

Remus glanced in the mirror, and found himself turning around in the car to look at Harry in concern. “What's wrong cub?” He asked, his tone making way for Sirius to turn around and look at his godson as well.

Harry tried to smile but the grimace only proved to his two guardians that all was not well with their young charge. “Nothing,” he mumbled.

“Try again, what's the matter with you Harry?” Sirius asked impatiently, not trying to give into his worry.

Harry looked down at his jeans, and his clenched hands before turning to stare at Sirius. He couldn’t keep his silence any longer, he had to speak up. “I need to have a wee,” he said hurriedly.

Remus sighed as he looked back at the road. “That poses a problem,” he said carefully.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t need for Moony to stop,” Sirius teased.

Harry just stared at his godfather, his situation was awful and here the man was making fun of him. “If they hadn’t had traffic, we would have been at the house. And then I wouldn’t have had to say anything,” Harry said in a smart alleck tone.

“Watch it kiddo,” Sirius said immediately as he quirked his eyebrow at the tone.

“You were making fun of me,” Harry said with narrowed eyes. He couldn’t help it, he tended to get a bit temperamental when he need the toilet. It was a desperate urge, and the more he had to go the easier he got irritated.

“I was teasing you, relax Harry,” Sirius repeated as he tried to keep the irritation out of his own tone.

Harry huffed as he grabbed his crotch, and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t have time for games at the moment. He really had to go and wished the cars would move along.

“Can you just conjure something?” He asked about 2 minutes later.

“Not in front of all these muggles, I can't oblivate them all,” Remus said, always the voice of reason.

“But I need a wee,” he whined desperately

“I know you do, but you’re just going to have to hold it,” Sirius told him firmly.

“That’s the thing, I don’t think I can,” Harry said softly. He wasn’t exaggerating, and if anything he was downplaying how bad he actually had to go. He hadn’t meant for anyone to hear him but he had forgotten about Remus and his sensitive senses.

Remus frowned as he looked at Sirius before doing the same to Harry. “Check in the bag Padfoot, there should be a water bottle in it,” Remus told him softly.

“Moony, he doesn’t have to go that bad. I'm sure Harry just doing it for attention,” Sirius said easily. He didn’t honestly believe his godson had to go that bad no if he did at all. And as the boy had just woken up and he didn’t seem like he had to go while he was asleep.

“Sirius I don’t think he's joking,” Remus told him honestly.

“Moony, trust me I know he is. You were a little boy once, boredom makes you do a lot of things,” Sirius said with a small smile.

“I know, and you’re one to talk,” Remus said laughing softly as he remembered the things they used to get up to when they were bored. He shook his head, believing that he had misheard Harry and turned back to the road, they were moving a bit now. It was slow going but it was better then before.

Harry whimpered to himself as he held himself as tight as he could. He didn’t want to bring up his need as the men couldn’t do anything for him. He shifted on his seat to try to hold it in a different position. That however proved to be his downfall as he suddenly spurted. He gasped as his bladder contracted.

“Sirius, I've gotta go!” He blurted out urgently. All tact about staying quiet had now gone out the window when he realized he was in some trouble.

“Honestly Harry, this has gone far enough,” Sirius told him dryly.

“But I'm not kidding,” Harry promised before he suddenly closed his eyes as he felt his bladder release. He couldn’t believe what was happening to him and in the car no less!

“Sirius I really do think that Harry...” Remus trailed off as he took in the fresh smell of urine that suddenly filled the car. There was no mistaken just who that had come from, not to mention the soft sniffling also gave the culprit away.

“Think that Harry what?” Sirius asked in confusion as he looked at his friend.

“Just had an accident in the backseat of the car,” Remus finished quietly. He turned around to find his pseudo godchild with his head bowed, he could smell the salt water mixing with the urine smell and he knew that Harry was crying.

Sirius's eyes got wide as he took in Remus's words, so Harry hadn’t been kidding at all. He turned to look at his godchild. “Harry?” He called in a soft tone.

Harry was trying to convince himself that this was a dream, trying to ignore his wet warm jeans and the fact that Remus could now smell it. He tried to pretend that he couldn’t hear them talking about him. How could he do something like that? He however choked on a sob when he heard his godfather talking to him. Hadn’t the man just told him that he was pretending? Harry was kind of hurt, but he had no one to blame but himself. He just had to be extra careful for the rest of the summer.

“Kiddo, are you okay?” Sirius asked gently.

 

“I'm fine,” Harry mumbled as his jeans started to cool. He couldn’t help but feel relieved that the impending pressure was now gone, even as he knew that he had disgraced himself.

“I'm sorry I didn’t believe you,” Sirius told him apologetically.

“Uh huh,” Harry murmured softly. He didn’t believe that apology at the moment all he could feel was hurt. How dare Sirius not believe him? Just like Uncle Vernon he had needed the proof of Harry having an accident to never doubt his words again. He buried his head into his shirt and continued to cry softly.

“I really am pup,” Sirius pressed albeit gently but firmly.

“Let him be Siri,” Remus told him softly. He knew how the small boy was feeling and knew that he needed his space for the time being. He shook his head, knowing that Sirius wouldn’t doubt him again as he drove the rest of the traffic filled freeway to their exit. He pulled off and headed down on the correct street.

“We'll be there in a minute Harry, and then you can clean up,” Remus told him.

“Okay,” Harry whispered.

Remus sighed as he took in the tear filled expression of the child in the back seat. He hoped this would be the only discrepancy, this summer. But that was wistful thoughts of a war and werewolf survivor. He knew that Harry had some trust issues, he just hoped that he and Sirius would be able to correct them. Because right now at the moment, they only seemed to be making it worse. He shook the thought away as he pulled up to a gate. He sighed before turning back to Harry who looked like he was trying to become one with the seat.

“Come here cub,” Remus requested gently.

Harry was unsure of what the man wanted but since they had stopped he opened his door and jumped out, his wet pants rubbing against his legs. He stood in front of the man's open door giving both men a view of his wet pants.

“Wow you really soaked yourself,” Sirius muttered before he was given a glare by Remus.

Harry hung his head unable to look at his godfather. He was never that grateful for magic then he was at that moment when he felt the cleaning spell and his jeans were as if nothing had happened. He swiped his hand across his face before turning his red rimmed eyes to Remus. “Thank you,”

“No problem cub,” Remus said before instructing him to prick his finger and place a drop of blood where it was required. As the gate opened, Remus gave Harry's hair a ruffle. “Welcome home,” he said gesturing for Harry to get back into the car as he drove through the gate and towards the manor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the last chapter and it was overly short please go back and finish it. I accidentally only uploaded half of the chapter. It should have 4000 words in it. This one is short for a reason, the next one is longer.

Harry grabbed his bag and before Remus or Sirius could say anything he ran into the manor. He didn’t get very far as a house elf in a apron with the Potter crest popped in front of him. He sniffled, just wanting to hide in his room; he didn’t want to see his godfather at that moment. He was still very hurt, and seeing Sirius would be like ripping a band aid off a just healed scab. He swallowed back of lump of tears as he turned to address the house elf.

“Little Master has returned! Jilly knowed he was alive, she could feel it, and now we can serve you,” An excited house elf, who he realized her name was Jilly spoke.

Harry sighed as he looked at her before shaking his head, he didn’t want to deal with this, not right now at least. But he also wasn’t going to be rude to her; she hadn’t done a thing to him. And dealing with Dobby had made him aware of just how sensitive the creatures were.

“Hi Jilly, it's nice to meet you,” Harry replied softly. He tried to pretend that he didn’t see the house elf giving him a once over and then a frown disgracing her face.

“Little master is tired, Jilly will show you to your room. And then after you rest Jilly will talk too little master,” she said gently as led him up the stairs.

Harry didn’t say anything; he didn’t acknowledge that Sirius and Remus was in the car, nor that they probably needed some help. He didn't want to deal with any of them. He allowed the little house elf lead him through the manor, him wondering which room was his. He got his answer however as he found himself standing in front of a closed door.

“This is yous room, Jilly will see that our other guest have a room as well,” she told him. “If you need anything just snap your fingers and I or another house elf will come,” she promised before she disappeared on the spot.

Harry opened the door and looked around the room in awe. It was definitely a magical child's bedroom as the wall paper was Quidditch players flying around and his comforter was a snitch that was never in the same place for long. He had his mouth opened wide as he looked around, feeling a bit nostalgic and sad. If his parents had still be alive, this is what he would have grown up in. Not trying to dwell on it, he took a running leap and jumped on his bed, with a happy sigh and a giggle. He felt so at home, it was unbelievable. He didn't notice as he inspected his room, the two still pictures of his parents on the dresser, wasn’t what they seemed.

He stayed in there for a long time, getting unpacked as his luggage suddenly appeared in the middle of his floor. It wasn't much, only his trunk from school, he had managed to keep quiet on his lack of clothes from his Godfather and Remus. But he just knew that, that luck was definitely going to run out. He tried to prolong the packing as much as he couldn’t, but it took no more then an hour as he didn’t have a lot of clothes. With a sigh, Harry made his way out of the room, intent on exploring his new home.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry spent the majority of the day just exploring the manor, and familiarizing himself with everything. To be honest he was truly just avoiding his two guardians, Sirius in particular. He felt so betrayed when he thought about what happened in the car.

Why didn’t Sirius believe him? Had he ever given him the impression that he had been lying? Why the heck would he lie about needing the toilet anyway? He shook his head, unable to answer those questions but not brave enough to ask the man himself. He stayed away even for lunch, ignoring the grumbling in his stomach.  
He figured if he got truly starving he could just call Jilly right? After all she was his elf, but to be honest even if he was hungry, food didn’t sound so good to him at the moment. He didn’t want to eat yet. He hurried to his room, and grabbed his Firebolt, he always felt so much better when he was in the air.

A good fly was definitely what he needed and he planned on getting it. Unsure just where Remus and Sirius were in the manor, he stealthy made his way out of his room and the down the steps. He was nearly to the door when he saw his godfather poke his head into the kitchen and he froze his eyes wide in fear.  
“Hey kiddo, where you going?” Sirius asked quietly, though he saw the broom, it didnt take a genius to guess.

“To fly,” Harry replied warily.

“I would really like it, if you would ask to do things. I'm your godfather and I really don’t want to worry so much about you,” he told him seriously.

“Oh,” the teen replied slowly before he nodding. That was a reasonable request, parents did that to their children he could get that. “Okay, can I go flying?”

“Yes you can, but before you do. I think you and I need to talk,” he told the boy gently, gesturing for him to take a seat at the table.

“Why do we have to talk?” Harry asked with a sigh, he wanted to avoid this.

“I think you know why. I'm really sorry about what happened earlier. I really did think you were making joke,” Sirius told him sadly.

“But I wasn't, I don’t joke about stuff like that,” Harry said softly.

“Well I know that now, but I didn’t think. And I never meant for you to have an accident,” he continued.

“Alright,” Harry said softly as he thought that over. His godfather did sound sad, and he truly didn’t know. “I forgive you,” he said.

“Good, I don’t want us to be at odds,” he said cheerfully as he stood up. “Jilly said you didn’t eat lunch, I would really like it as well if you didn’t skip meals,”

Harry nodded slowly, his godfather sounded so responsible it was just weird to here. In honesty he was expecting this from Remus, and he stifled a grin knowing that the man had probably told Sirius what to say.

 

“Okay, I wont skip meals anymore,” he promised as he stood up and headed for the back door.  
Sirius cleared his throat and looked pointedly at his godson. “Eat a sandwich and then you can go out flying,” he said quietly.

Harry sighed and grabbed the item off the plate that was sitting conveniently on the table, and shook his head and quickly made his way to the backyard. In his hunger he quickly devoured the sandwich before he finally took to the sky.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile back in the house, Sirius was having a discussion with Remus, about how exactly they were planning on spending their summer. He was also discussing at lengths to the man that he wanted no part in having to discipline Harry. Merlin he hoped it wouldn't come to it, because he didn’t think he would be able to handle it. Remus though he gave him a pinched look, didn’t say anything to to that, so he was hoping that meant he didn’t have to be the bad guy to Harry.

He turned to look out the window, watching the child fly. Harry really did have Jame's talent on a broom and Sirius couldn't wait until he too got a new broom so he could go out and fly with him. He shook his head, and turned back to the talk, knowing it was nearly finished.

It was 3 hours later when Sirius found himself at the backdoor, calling Harry in for dinner. Everything smelled wonderful and he noted that the flying had done the boy some good, his cheeks were a bright rosy red.

“Go wash up, and we'll eat,” Sirius told him as he ruffled his hair as he passed.

“Okay,” Harry chirped, obviously in a good mood, and starving as it had been a while since he had eaten the sandwich. He quickly washed his hands and hurried back out into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

His stomach growled audibly as he took in the pasta dishes on the table, he didn’t know what to choose from. The house elves always went overboard with food and tonight he was really glad, he felt like he was starving. Once Remus and Sirius had picked up the forks and started eating Harry quickly followed suit. He was eating slowly not wanting to upset his stomach.

Though he wasn't at the Durselys this year, his body was still conditioned and at the beginning of the summer it tended to not get fed so it conserved his energy. Now that he was eating properly he didn’t want to eat to fast knowing if he did that, he would get sick. He was so into his food he never noticed the curious glances his two guardians were giving him. If he did, he would have been slightly worried, but as he didn’t see them, he wasnt.

Once he finished with his dinner, and dessert to his utter delight he felt stuffed and happy. He could truly get used to this feeling. Grinning like a loon he hurried up the steps to his room and got his things to get ready for a shower. He glanced in his trunk and frowned as he looked at his 'clothes'. Dudley's hand me downs had clearly seen better days.

Which was why he was so happy that he had raided the lost and found at Hogwarts, it was amazing the kinds of things the kids there lost. He would take care of his things. As it was, he had only one set of decent pajamas and that was curtsey of Mrs. Weasely as they were much to small for Ron, and they fit Harry perfectly. He loved them and he hurried into the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bed. After showering and making good use of the toilet he hurried to his room, surprised to find his godfather sitting on his bed.

“Hi Sirius,” he said a bit shyly as he tucked his clothes back in his trunk.

“Hey kiddo, just came to wish you goodnight,” he said easily as he quickly got the boy tucked in under the covers.

“Really?” Harry asked eagerly, he had never had this done, well not that he could remember anyway.

“Yes really, Remus wanted to as well, but we weren't sure you would take too kindly to both of us, so he'll tuck you in tomorrow,” he told him easily.

“I don’t mind,” Harry said softly. And truly he didn’t, he had missed out, so naturally he craved things like this.

“Good to know,” Sirius said as he ruffled his hair. “Do you mind if I read you a story then?” He asked totally teasing the child as he knew Harry was going to be 14 next month and probably felt he was to big for a bedtime story.

Harry nodded frantically at that, just in case Sirius changed his mind. “I would love a story!” He blurted out as he gave his godfather a shy grin.

Sirius was surprised and a bit taken back at the reaction but he would get to the bottom of this, no doubt. But he knew tonight wasn't the time. Nodding he quickly summoned a story tale book from the shelf and opened it up and started reading, he had missed this.

Harry couldnt remember the last time he had felt so loved, and content in that bed as he was read too and the little boy was quickly asleep, even before Sirius finished the book.

Deeming his job a success Sirius, stood up and kissed the child's forehead before turning off the light and closing the door behind him. He nodded to himself, this parenting stuff was a no-brainer. He quickly went to have his own shower, he was going to be early, it had been a long day and he was more then ready to sleep. It was an hour later when all the human occupants of the manor was snoring quietly and sleeping peacefully in their beds.

About 4 hours later, was when Harry awoke, glancing over to look at the clock and groaning as he realized it was only 1:00am. If if it was still so late then what had woken him up? He rolled over on his stomach and groaned as he felt it, damn he had to pee. He sighed not wanting to move from where he was as his bed was so warm and toasty but knowing his body as he did he also knew that if he didn’t go he would never be able to get back to sleep with a full bladder.

Mumbling tiredly to himself the little boy got out of bed and stumbled towards the door, and opened it, looking out at the hall silently. It was very dark in the hallway, and he had to wonder where the heck were the lights. He wasnt afraid of the dark, but it was just creepy how dark it was out there? Why didn’t his godfather leave any lights on? Was that his way of saying that Harry wasnt allowed to get up in the middle of the night and leave the room? He crossed his legs as he thought about that and quickly shut the door, wondering if the man had put a charm or something on his room to alert him. He had remembered back at Ron's house how his mate had told him that his mom had charms in place to alert her when someone was up when they shouldn't be.

Did this qualify as that? He just wanted to use the bathroom and be done with it? He still wanted to sleep, his bed looked so inviting. He chewed his bottom lip quietly, wondering if it was too late to call a house elf. He shook his head, figuring they would not appreciate being woken up at this hour, who would?

“What do I do, what do I do?” He murmured to himself as he started to pace the length of his room, he had to go quite urgently and he wasnt sure what he was supposed to do. Sirius still hadn’t gone over the rules with him, and he was afraid to ask what those might be. It wasnt that he thought that Sirius would be like his relations he didn’t, he just didn’t know what kind of rules the man had in mind for him.

Like Sirius never said that he could leave his room in the middle of the night, and as it was only their 2nd day there he didn’t want to ruin and mess up whatever it was they had going. He grimaced as he made his way back to the door. He knew if he stayed in his room, the inevitable would happen and he so didn’t what to explain that in the morning. Swallowing thickly and nodding to himself, he eased himself out of his room and quietly headed into the dark hallway.

He kept his hand on the wall to guide him, hesitating at the bathroom before his eyes flicked over to Sirius's and then Remus's room. Was he supposed to ask permission first? He knew he should never assume to be able to do something, that is how one got punished especially in his Uncle's eyes. He shifted his weight back and forth as he stood in front of the bathroom and did a small jig, his eyes only on the toilet.

He had go so bad, but he was afraid of the consequences of what would happen if he did. He whined out as a sudden wave came over him and he was forced to grab himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing his body to hold on, when he felt someone slightly bump him. He opened his eye slowly, to find his sleepy looking former professor standing next to him.

“What are you doing Harry?” Remus asked tiredly as he looked at the youth in question.

“N-nothing,” he replied quickly.

“Okay, well what are you doing up then? It's not even close to being morning,” Remus told him before he yawned. He just wanted to get back to sleep, but Harry's whimpers and noises had woken him up. He had always been a light sleeper, and with his enhanced senses that only made it worse.

“I needed to pee,” Harry rushed out anxiously.

Remus quirked a sleepy eyebrow at the tone and focused a bit more on the child. “Needed too? Or still do?” He asked before he sighed. “It's too late for these games Harry, please go and pee and go back to bed,” he told him sleepily.

“I can pee?” Harry asked hopefully, already inching his way into the bathroom, not wanting the man to change his mind.

“Yes you can,” Remus said, his sleepy brain not understanding. “Why would you think that you couldnt?”

“It's not allowed at home with the Durselys,” he replied quickly as he pushed his bottoms down slightly and let loose a torrent of his held in water into the toilet.

Remus's brain was clouded with sleep, but he caught that bit. But now was clearly not the time for this talk. Pushing it away until the morning he nodded. “Well not here, you can use the bathroom whenever you want or need too,” he murmured. “Go to bed when you get done here,” he said.

“Kay,” Harry replied as he tried not to fall asleep where he was peeing. “G'night Moony,”

“Night Harry,” he told him softly as he made his way to his room and fell back on the bed.

Harry finished up in the bathroom and flushed before he too tiredly made his way to his room. He grinned to himself before he got cocooned back under the covers, determined to sleep in the next morning.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry woke up the next morning in a good mood. For one he wasn't at the Durselys this summer and for two he had the best night of sleep he had ever remembered. It was his first official day at the house and he couldn't wait to reconnect with his parents. After he had showered he made his way back to his room to get dressed, frowning at the state of his clothes.

He only had 2 sets of decent clothes, one set was courtesy of Ron and he had worn that yesterday, the other set was what he had managed to find in the lost and found this past year at school. Although how someone lost a pair of pants was beyond him, he was grateful for it. He dressed, grimacing at the rags at the bottom of his trunk, wondering if they would get a chance to visit Diagon Alley soon.

He needed clothes asap, the last thing he wanted was his godfather to see them, can you say embarrassing. Deeming his attire appropriate he pulled on his shoes before heading downstairs. He wasn't expecting breakfast to be on the table given the time, it was only just turning 7, but he should have guessed it would be given that he had met one of his house elves yesterday. As it was the table was loaded with the amount of food he was used to seeing at Hogwarts and he grinned before he eagerly took a seat.

He frowned as he realized something else, his godfather and Professor were no where to be found. Were they still sleeping in their rooms? Was he allowed to eat even if they weren't here? He wasn't sure of the rules of this house just yet and he didn’t want to do something stupid and mess up before they got a chance to do anything. He licked his lips unconsciously as he sat there, his stomach growling in response as he refused to grab anything. He had to jerk back his hands a few times, annoyed with himself when he caught himself reaching for a piece of bacon.

It would be beyond rude to just eat when his guardians weren't here. Not to mention that was forbidden, he had learned that from staying with his relatives. Harry swallowed thickly before he forced himself to scoot back from the table and stand up. He knew it was easier to resist temptation when it was staring you smack dab in the face. As he made to move away from the table he froze when he noticed his Professor standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face. Harry's eye's widened, his face taking on a deer caught in the headlights look.

Remus for his part was floored, he had woken up earlier when the boy did. His senses always made sure of that. He had initially followed the child to the kitchen as he figured he could at least keep him company since Sirius was still asleep. Which worked perfectly because Sirius needed as much rest as he could get it. He had been horrified and confused when he saw the boy sitting at the table but visibly refraining himself from eating. What had he been waiting for? And now he looked like he had been up to no good, but Remus knew that wasn't the case, what was going on?

“Oh...um G-good morning Professor,” Harry stammered out, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Had Remus seen him almost touch the food, was he going to be in trouble with the man?

Remus sighed as he shook his head, and walked further into the kitchen. “It's just Remus cub remember, ” he told him gently.

Harry shook his head in denial, he had no idea what the man was trying to pull but he knew that wasn't correct. He vaguely remembered his Uncle pulling this trick on him and once he had called him by his first name(against his own judgment mind you) He had been thrashed severely. His Uncle made sure to beat into him, respect for his superiors, and elders. And he tried to keep true to that, well Snape didn't count, the bastard.

“Yes Harry, just call me Remus. I'm not your Professor anymore,” he said kindly.

“No sir, I cannot do that,” Harry said quickly.

“And why not?” Remus asked frowning slightly.

“Because..it's not right,” he stressed out, unconsciously wringing his hands anxiously.

“Okay, well think of something because you're not going to be calling me Professor all summer,” Remus told him with a smile.

“If you say so Professor,” Harry replied softly.

Remus refrained from saying anything to that, as Harry seemed on edge as it was. “Why haven't you eaten?”

Harry froze, having not been expecting that question. “Because...no one was here,” he stated carefully.

“That's fine actually, for breakfast that's okay. We're all going to wake up at different times. If the food is on the table in the morning and we're not here, there is no need to starve yourself. You may start without us,” Remus informed him.

“Okay, thanks,” Harry said happily as he retook his seat, at least he knew this rule.

Remus stayed silent, he was getting more bad vibes about the situation and he longed to talk to Sirius about it. But something was definitely not sitting right with him about Harry and he would no doubt get to the bottom of it.

Breakfast passed by quickly, Sirius hadn't woken up to join them and Remus wasn't the least bit concerned. He needed his rest as he had told the child. As it was he and Harry went looking around the Manor as he was sure the child could find something to occupy his time when the adults had to do something. And he was right, when just off the kitchen was a Potion's lab, and Remus saw that Harry surprisingly looked eager to try it out. As they went to checked out the place, Remus took in the obvious excitement on the boy's face and shook his head.

“Now Harry, I only have one rule about this lab. You can make potions and anything else you want as long as they aren't dangerous. However the rule is you cannot do any of that, if I or Sirius are not down here with you. So many things can go wrong with Potions, and we don’t want anything to happen to you,” Remus told him seriously.

Harry sighed loudly, the man really worried too much. “I'm almost 14 sir, I know how dangerous potions can get,” he told him trying not to get too annoyed with the over-protectiveness that came with guardians f. This was all new and a tad annoying if he was being honest.

“Exactly, your still a child and potions is a very dangerous subject. I will not budge on this subject Harry and if I find in anyway that you disobeyed me, you will be punished,” he promised him.

“Yes sir,” Harry grumbled out as he went to check out the ingredients cabinet to see what was in store. He wasn't stupid and wasn't at all eagered to learn just what his punishment would be. 

~**~*~*~A Few Days Later*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A couple of days went by and soon found Harry ignoring Remus’s warnings about being in the potion’s lab alone as he headed to it. He wasn’t worried about the man catching him as it was the about 2 days until the full moon and Remus was still in bed sleeping. Harry felt a bit guilty about taking advantage of the man’s weakness but it was fair. They were staying in his house and he wasn’t allowed in the potion’s lab without an adult.

He was almost 14 years old, he didn’t need a babysitter. What he wanted to do was prove that this upcoming year to Snape that he wasn’t a dunderhead. He had seen the man around a cauldron and he was brilliant and Harry couldn’t help thinking that he might want to do that.

It would be easier to succeed in potions if said greasy git wouldn’t be breathing down his neck just waiting for Harry to fail. How in the heck was he supposed to learn with that type of pressure over him? The man made it impossible for him to even grasp anything but the basics of potion making. He had grabbed a potion’s book he found in the library and walked in the lab and closing the door behind him. He knew the house elves wouldn’t rat on him unless he was in danger and as he didn’t plan to do anything dangerous his secret would indeed be safe.

Harry took a seat on a stool and looked through the book for a potion that seemed interesting. He found himself getting enthralled with a shrinking potion, already imagining the things he could get into if he was small. It was a 5th year potion but as he was going into his 4th year he didn’t think it mattered all that much. All that mattered was following the directions and he was sure he wouldn’t muck that up.

Making sure the page was marked he headed to grab the cauldron and the ingredients to make the potion. He would show Remus that he wasn’t a baby and that he could do this. Harry took a breath before he started working on the potion; working more diligently then he had ever done before.

As he made sure to slice the ingredients the correct way, he didn’t realize that he had to constantly stir the potion. There was a spell to enchant the rod to make it so but it wasn’t taught until this upcoming year. It was of no consequence that when he got near the final step it was a deep burgundy red instead of the lavender purple it should have been.

Harry sighed in agitation trying to see where exactly he went wrong. As he moved to dump the cauldron out, he tripped on one of his unlaced shoes and down he went onto the stone floor. He landed with a hard thud, with the cauldron splashing its contents on him. As it was still fairly warm, he found himself unconsciously screaming as the potion burnt into his skin, before his eyes clouded over with darkness and he knew no more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius bolted up out of bed as he heard the ear piercing shriek echo around the manor; who he recognized to be Harry. Grabbing his wand from under his pillow he ran out of his room intending on heading to Harry’s room with he was stopped by a house elf.

“Little Master is not in his room,” Winkle said wringing his hands in agitation.

“Well where is he? Is he hurt?” Sirius as panic welled into his chest.

“He’s in the potion’s lab, he tripped and the cauldron he was carrying fell on him. Miffy is with him now, but something is wrong with young master,” Winkle replied in a rush.

“Fuck, take me to him,” Sirius demanded as he held out his hand, his heart beating frantically in his chest. Merlin he hoped his godson was okay.

“Right away Master Black,” Winkle replied before grabbing the man’s hand and disappearing with a pop.

Sirius found himself blinking rapidly trying to adjust to the barely lit lab, his eyes on the boy who was lying on a bed that probably wasn’t there in the first place. He could see Miffy healing the burn wounds on him, but he was sure something else was wrong. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he could swear that Harry had shrunk. The boy was already small to begin with but now he didn’t even look like he could pass for 11. Was he seeing correctly?

“How is he?” Sirius asked rushing over to the bed.

“Young master is alright, Miffy is helping him,” Miffy replied as she rubbed burn salve on the child's body.

“What was he making?” Sirius asked as he gently ran his hand through Harry’s hair.

He was so angry with his godson and he was definitely getting in trouble for this but at the moment he just wanted him to wake up so he could hug him before yelling him for being so irresponsible. He stilled as he realized he sounded like a parent, but he welcomed it and didn’t try to push it away. The little boy had long ago wormed his way into Sirius’s heart and he wasn’t letting the little bugger go without a fight.

“A shrinking solution, but he went wrong somewhere,” Winkle replied as he pointed at the still open book, not to mention the unused ingredients still on the table.

“He didn’t swallow anything did he?” Sirius asked with dread in his stomach.

“No he did not,” Miffy replied before stilling. “You don’t need to drink the potion for it to work,” she said as her wide eyes caught the child on the bed shrinking before her very eyes.

“What’s happening to him? Harry?!?!” Sirius yelled as his godson shrunk from the small 13 year old child he was to that of a small child, who looked in his opinion to be about 3 or 4 but he couldn't be sure. 

He couldn’t think of anything, as he was sure his godson was shrinking out of existence and he felt so powerless to stop it. He wasn’t sure what happened, but the next thing he knew his body was swaying as he blacked out a few seconds later.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Harry woke up, he wasn’t exactly sure of where he was, only that it was early morning as the sun was peeking through the window to the right of him. He was in the biggest bed he had ever been in, with a man with black hair he could vaguely remember seeing once before, laying down next to him. The man seemed to be sleeping, so he didn’t want to wake him. He turned his head to see another man sitting in a chair by the bed.

This man had brown hair wa slumped down in hi arm chair and Harry mused that had never seen someone look so tired while they slept. He didn’t know where his relatives were and didn’t really care. The last thing he remembered was his Uncle promising to punish him after he turned his teacher’s hair blue. He still wasn’t sure how he managed to do that, and why they blamed him.

At the moment, he was only focused on one thing and that was the pressure in his small tummy. He grimaced as he looked around, he didn’t know where the bathroom was in this house, nor if the people who lived here would let him use it. He knew he couldn’t hold it very long especially after waking up after a nap and whined a little bit trying to get the black haired man’s attention who was lying next to him.

“Siw, pwease wake up,” Harry whined as his hand snaked down underneath the cover to hold himself.

He frowned as he reached over to shake the man, hoping he wouldn’t regret this. He would never do this to his Aunt or Uncle, but Harry felt rather safe at the moment; though he couldn’t figure out why.

Sirius twitched but he didn’t wake, as Harry shook him. He didn’t know it but his godfather had been slipped a calming draught laced with a sleeping potion as when Remus had found him he had been hysterical. He would wake up; it would just take a little bit more then gentle prodding to do it.

Remus for his part was jilted out of his doze to find himself looking at wide, fearful green eyes staring back at him. “Hello Harry,” Remus said kindly so as not to startle the poor child, still unable to believe what he was seeing.

“How do you know my name?” Harry whispered frightened as he pushed himself back against the headboard fearfully.

“I was friends with your parents,” Remus explained kindly.

“Weally?” Harry asked in disbelief, the fear in his eyes were quickly replaced by curiosity.

“Yes really,” Remus confirmed with a soft smile.

Harry was about to ask what his mum was like when he suddenly had to bend at the waist as he remembered just what he was doing. He didn’t have time to sit here and talk, not unless he wanted to end up wet in a few minutes.

“Harry are you alright cub?” Remus asked sitting up instantly, thinking the potion had another side effect, even worse then the de-aging.

“I hafta go potty,” Harry exclaimed desperately as his eyes flashed back up to the man.

“You have to what?” Remus asked in confusion, trying to decipher what the hell the child had just said.

“Potty, I hafta go potty now,” Harry repeated as he squirmed on the bed.

“What do you mean?” Remus asked, not at all familiar with the term Harry was using.

It wasn’t really a surprise as his only friends had been murdered and thrown in jail. His known state as a werewolf, made everyone either shun or fear him. He hadn’t had the chance to be around young children and though they would be looking for an antidote for this mishap he would enjoy it while it lasted.

Harry stared at the man in shock, who didn’t know what potty was! Everyone had to go potty sometimes. He whimpered as he tried to pull the covers back, but he was tucked in.

“What is it cub? How can I help?” Remus asked standing up looking at the child in concern.

“I hafta go potty wight now!” Harry all but yelled, effectively waking up Sirius who was next to him.

“Merlin, why are you yelling so close to my ear? Moony would you shut the kid up and take him already,” Sirius said grumpily as he placed the pillow over his head.

“Padfoot that’s Harry. And I don’t know where exactly to take him,” Remus said frowning as he looked at his friend. “What’s wrong with him?” He asked getting worried now.

Sirius rolled his eyes, though the effect was ruined by the fact that he had a pillow smashed in his face. “Moony; are kidding me?” Sirius asked dryly.

“About not knowing what potty means? How could I? I’m an only child, and I have no experience with children younger then 11,” Remus said frowning, as he took in the distressed look on Harry’s face.

“I’m gonna potty on mysewf,” Harry announced before bursting into tears.

“Remus take him to the toilet,” Sirius said ripping the pillow off his face as he stared at his godson. He was quickly making sure he wasn’t hurt, and thankfully he wasn’t but Sirius wasn’t blind to see that Harry was in a right state.

“So potty means the toilet?” Remus said reached down and hurriedly picked up the still dry child.

“Basically, or in this case I'm pretty sure it means wee,” Sirius said glad to note the bed was still dry.

Remus nodded before turning and making a beeline for the bathroom, making it there in record time. He set Harry on the floor, unsure if the child needed help or not. He watched him all but yank off his bottoms before trying to get onto the toilet. Remus frowned as it was just too tall for the de-aged Harry to do so.

“Let me help you…” Remus started before he stopped as the strong smell of urine suddenly penetrated his sensitive nose. He quickly pinched his nose shut to look at the small child accidentally peeing on the floor.

“I’m sowwy, I was howding it fowevew and I couldn’t anymowe,” Harry wailed as he had an accident all over the bathroom floor. He couldn’t believe how close he was to the toilet and yet here he was peeing all over the floor.

Harry was horrified, he hadn’t had an accident since he was four. He was a big boy now, and he had messed up the man's clean bathroom. He only hoped that the man wouldnt be too angry with him. He flinched slightly as he looked up and saw the man holding his nose, and he sniffled sadly. It was going to be just like with his relatives then huh?

“That's quite alright Harry, accidents happen,” Remus said calmly as he took a small breath and removed his fingers from his nose. He could see the way the boy was looking at him and he didn’t want Harry to think that he was disgusted with him. He was sure at this age that Harry didn't know about his affliction.  
“I'll cwean it up, I pwomise,” he said hurriedly hoping to save himself from punishment.

“There's no need, I'll do it,” he said easily as he pulled out his wand and gave it a wave. The mess in the bathroom was soon cleaned up and Harry's clothes were once again fixed. He noted the child in question had yet to say anything in regards to that and when he turned to face him, he himself froze. Harry looked afraid, and he didn’t know why.

“You'we a fweak too,” the little boy whispered out fearfully. He didn’t know if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

“A freak? I'm not a freak Harry, and neither are you,” Remus said sternly.

“But you awe, you did a fweaky thing!” Harry said his eyes wide, he know what he saw.

“Oh Merlin, the Durselys were wrong, whatever they said. What I did was magic and that is not a freaky thing,” Remus said firmly, trying to keep his anger in check. He had known something was off with Harry regarding his relatives these past few days, but the boy had brushed it off.

“Magic isnt weal!” Harry shrieked out before he tore out the bathroom, intent on hiding. He was going to be in so much trouble when his Uncle Vernon found out about it this.

Remus for his part was floored and it took him a minute for his brain to catch up with everything that just happened and by then Harry was gone. The manor was huge and he knew that the child could be anywhere. Sighing he quickly hurried back into the bedroom where he had left Sirius to find the man, stretching.

“Where's Harry?” Sirius asked as he slipped on his house shoes.

“I'm not sure, I said something about magic and he flipped out, and ran away,” Remus said quietly, feeling wretched as it was.

“Damn it, Hagrid had said something about his ignorant relatives telling him nothing of magic,” Sirius said frowning as he pulled out his wand.

“That's going to scare him then, you should put it away,” Remus told him softly.

“I need to preform a point me spell. And anyway Moony, he's got to get used to magic. He can't be afraid of who he is,” Sirius pointed out before quickly hurrying out the room.

Remus nodded and shook his head, allowing Sirius to handle this. He had other things they needed to have taken care of. He headed down to the potion's lab, he hadn't had a chance to do it earlier as he needed to take care of Harry and Sirius but now was just a good as time as any. Quickly scavenging what little potion he could into a vial, he closed it and placed and unbreakable charm on it, before hurrying back out.

He needed to know if Harry had been brewing correctly and how long the effects this potion might have on him. And as much as he hated to go to the man he was discreet and they needed that, in the case of the boy-who-lived. Quickly writing a note informing his friend where he was going, he flooed to Headmaster's office in Hogwarts intent on getting to Severus. He was sure anyway that Sirius would be able to handle Harry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It didn’t take long for Sirius to find Harry, he had taken refuge in a closet in a random room. After reassuring the boy that he wasn't in trouble and not about to punished the little boy finally crawled out from his hiding spot. Sirius knew they needed to talk, to see how old the boy was and see if he could figure out all of this. Something wasn't settling in right with him, in regards to Harry's behavior and he didn’t like it.

“So Harry, how old are you?” Sirius asked conversationally.

“I'm fwive,” Harry said proudly.

“Oh wow, your a big boy then,” he replied with a bright grin trying to put the child at ease.

“Yeah I am, I go to school too,” Harry told him happily.

“That's good, listen Harry I need to talk to you about something. Now don't run away as I'm not going to hurt you and there is no wrong answer to this question. Why do you think magic isn't real?” Sirius asked carefully.

“Because Aunt and Uncle always say its not weal,” Harry replied easily.

“What if I told you that they were wrong and magic is real?” Sirius pressed.

“I don’t know, is it because of dat fweaky thing that Wemus did wiff his stick?” Harry asked softly.

“Yes, but what Remus did was magic. It wasn't a freaky thing, as he isn't a freak. And neither are you for that matter,” he informed him.

Harry gave him a skeptical look, looking at the man almost blankly. He was sure this was some kind of trick. Growing up with the Durselys, meant that imaginative stuff meant a beating if he ever talked about it. “How do you know for suwe?” He asked softly.

“Because you're parents Lily and James were my best friends, and you are their son. You are not a freak, none of us are,” Sirius said firmly.

“You we're fwiends wiff my pawents too?” Harry gasped out in disbelief.

“Yep, James was my best friend. And I'm your godfather too,” Sirius said proudly.

Harry stared opened mouth at the man, unsure of what godfather was but feeling strangely elated nonetheless. “What does dat mean?” He asked eagerly, feeling at ease.

“That you get to live with me from now on,you never need to go back to your relatives,” Sirius promised.

“Coow!” Harry cheered out before he covered his mouth with his hands worriedly. “Sowwy!”

Sirius only laughed. “It's fine kiddo. I'm never going to get mad at your for being overexcited,” he said easily.

Harry couldn't believe it, he hoped this all wasn't a dream. Because if it was he never wanted to wake up.

“Remus went to go take care of something so it's just you and me right now. Now I'm hungry and I can bet you are too,” Sirius said conversationally.  
Harry bit his lip worriedly as he gave a small nod, unsure of himself again.

“Good, let's go eat. One of your house elves have probably gotten breakfast already ready for us,” Sirius said cheerfully.

“Elves awe weal too?” Harry asked with a gobsmacked expression.

“They are, and they're very nice,” Sirius told him easily.

Harry nodded slowly, trying to take it all in. He held the man's hand tightly as they headed into the kitchen. He didn't see anyone once they got there, just a lot of food on the table and his eyes bugged out. How many people were eating?

“They always go overboard, at leat you know here you will never starve,” Sirius said watching the boy's face carefully.

Harry's eyes took on a surprised look. How had Sirius known about that? He didn't reply to to is, simply bounced in his seat as he let his godfather set him in his chair. He sat on his knees watching hungrily as food was loaded onto his plate. “Fanks!”

“You're welcome, now dig in kiddo,” Sirius said as he served himself and sat down to eat.

Harry did just that, wishing with all his heart that this wasn't a dream. He ate heartily as he chatted with the man, knowing he could definitely get used to this.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry bounced desperately from where he was standing on the side of the bed. He was looking at the man who had said he was his godfather yesterday and had promised that he wouldn’t be returned back to the Durselys. Harry wasn’t sure what to believe because grownups always lied to you. At the moment, his dancing was getting frantic because he was unsure of the man’s rules. He had woken up on the softest bed ever, when he knew he had fell asleep in his closet.

That didn’t make any sense to him; he shook his head pushing the thoughts away. He was inwardly wondering if he would get into trouble for waking the man up, but he had to go potty so bad, he was losing all rational thought. As he was thinking about shaking the man, said person groaned, and rolled over.

“Siwius awe you awake?” Harry asked quietly.

“Who’s that? Harry, go back to bed it’s too early,” Sirius grumbled tiredly as he glanced over at the clock to see the time. It was just barely 6am, way to early for him to be up.

Harry obediently turned back around and was heading to his room when his bladder jolted and he suddenly stopped and bent over as he tightly held himself. He looked enviously at the toilet but he knew better then to enter it without permission.

Whenever he did that at home Aunt Petunia tended to wave a frying pan at his head. He whimpered before turning away from it and running back into his godfather’s room. Harry was a little apprehensive as he knew better then to disobey a direct order, but he just couldn’t wait anymore.

“Siwius pwease,” he pleaded as he all but turned into a pretzel.

“What do you need kiddo?” Sirius asked sleepily, when he realized Harry wasn’t going away.

“Can I go potty befowe I go back to bed?” He blurted out practically in tears as he held himself between the legs.

“What?” Sirius murmured as he opened his eyes to look at his obviously desperate godson.

“I gotta go potty weally bad,” Harry repeated out with a whimper.

“Go to the toilet then,” Sirius said as he sat up quickly just in case the boy needed him. The last thing he wanted to clean up was an accident.

He couldn’t understand why Harry had come into his room instead of stopping at the toilet he so desperately needed. It didn’t make any type of sense to him. He shook his head as his godson waddled out of his room as quickly as he could. Sirius found himself following swiftly after him just in case he needed help.

He could see Harry quickly pull his shorts down and struggle to get up on the toilet. He didn’t have to wonder why his godson was that small of a 5 year old. He had discovered a bit of his well hidden Dursely abuse with the help of Remus, and he still couldn’t get how they treated his Prongslet like that.

He mused that they would need to make sure Harry had a step stool so he could get up their easier. He was just about to walk in and help him when Harry climbed up; and hadn’t even fully taken a seat on the toilet before he was peeing. Sirius winced as Harry splattered a bit on the floor before the child sighed in obvious relief as water on water was being heard.

“Why didn’t you go pee when you got up?” Sirius asked with a yawn as he stood in the doorway.

“I didn’t fink I was awowed,” Harry replied softly as he peed.

“You’re allowed to use the toilet when you need to,” Sirius said firmly, inwardly he was screaming in disbelief. What kid wouldn’t be allowed to use the toilet.

Harry didn’t say anything as he kicked his feet sadly; he could tell by the man’s tone of voice that he was mad. He didn’t want to make his new guardian mad at him, especially since he was trying to be a good boy. He finished up and slid off the toilet pulling his pants up with a sigh before turning around to flush it. After a bit of a struggle with trying to get wash his hands he looked at the man apprehensively wondering if he would help him out .

Sirius for his part was staring at him with barely restrained anger; he didn’t like this at all. He could find out just exactly what the Durselys had done to his godson and he would make them pay.

“You're getting a step stool as soon as Remus wakes up,” he remarked dryly as he picked the boy up and helped him wash and dry his hands.  
“How come?” Harry asked curiously.

“You can barely reach the toilet and the sink, and I don’t want you to fall,” Sirius replied as he set him back on his feet.

Harry was looking at the man in disbelief, the man was going to get him a stool? Dudley had one of those and he always wanted to try it. He would love to be able to see himself in the mirror when he was brushing his teeth. Or just make it overall easier.

“Thank you Siwius,” he breathed out happily.

“Are you hungry kiddo?” Sirius asked softly, having to tear his eyes away from the innocent green ones He could feel the anguish in that look, why had he been so selfish and gone after Pettigrew himself?

“Oh, I can do it Siwius,” Harry said hurriedly before walking out of the bathroom and downstairs. He wanted to show the man that if he kept him around he knew how to earn his keep.

Sirius was staring at the spot his godson had just been before shaking his head and running after him. “Don’t you dare touch that stove Harry Potter!” He called out.  
Harry stopped suddenly from where he had been about to turn on the stove. He had already taken the eggs out the refrigerator and had already set a pan on the stove to fry them. He stared as he heard the footsteps coming closer and he whimpered softly trying to figure out what was going to happen.

“I fought you wanted me to cook bweakfast,” Harry said softly, wondering if he had heard wrong.

“No I asked you if you were hungry, you’re five kiddo. You are not allowed to touch the stove let alone cook,” Sirius said in disbelief as bodily picked him up and moved him away from the stove.

“But I can cook, I pwomise I won’t buwn anyfing,” Harry pleaded. Cooking was the one thing he was really good at and he was sure if the man tasted his food, he wouldn’t think he was a freak.

“No Harry, 5 year olds aren’t allowed to cook, you’re barely allowed to touch the toaster,” Sirius said frowning. “Go take a seat at the table,” Sirius instructed.

Harry’s bottom lip trembled, as he sadly walked to the table. He didn’t sit in the chair; sure the man had made a mistake. He sighed watching the man attempt to cook, before shaking his head. He didn’t understand why Sirius didn’t let him do it. Aunt Petunia had taught him and he knew how to do it really well.

“You don’t know how to cook do you?” Harry asked innocently about 2 minutes later, as he watched the man squint at the dials on the stove.

“No I do not, which is why I’m not cooking....ever,” Sirius said before snapping his fingers.

“Master called Tiddly,” a house elf in a Uniform with the Potter crest on it said.

“Can you make us some pancakes please?” Sirius asked.

“Tidly would be honored,” she said before disappearing with a pop.

Harry was staring in horror from what he had just seen. His eyes wide as they connected with his godfather’s blue ones.

“That was a house elf Harry,” Sirius said answering the unasked question.

“What’s a house elf?” Harry replied quietly, still wary of asking questions but since Sirius wasn’t mad he figured it was ok.

“Like a maid,” Sirius said slowly.

“Oh and how did she disappeaw?” Harry asked curiously.

“Magic kiddo,” Sirius said easily as the food appeared on the table.

“Magic isn’t weal!” Harry yelled putting his fingers in his ear and running out the room in terror. He was afraid because he yelled at Siwius and because he said the “M” word.

Sirius was staring at the spot Harry had been once more before swearing softly, he had forgotten the boy didn’t take to kindly to magic. He groaned as he ran after him. He could hear little feet running up the stairs, and knowing Harry he was probably going to hide in his closet as he felt the safest there. Sirius had yet to discover as to why but he would eventually.

Harry had taken to the safety in his closet as Sirius had said he would. He was beating himself up inside, knowing he shouldn’t have yelled at him. He didn’t know how Siwius punished so he was scared as he waited for the man. He could hear him getting closer and then the door to his room opened up. Harry sniffled, knowing it did no good to hide when they always found you anyway. He curled up into himself trying to make himself smaller when he saw the door open.

“Get out of the closet kiddo,” Sirius said gently.

Harry crawled up quickly before standing up fearfully. He sniffled, trying to keep his tears from falling. His uncle didn’t like it when he cried and he was sure Siwius wouldn’t either. He stood stiffly in front of the man and gasped in fear when he felt himself being picked up.

“Relax kiddo, I’m not going to hurt you,” Sirius said softly.

“But I yewwed at you,” Harry sniffled in his godfather’s chest.

“I know, and I’ll talk to you about raising your voice to me in anger. Either way I will never hurt you,” Sirius promised as he rocked him.

“Oh,” Harry said softly, as he didn’t know how to reply to that declaration.

“Are you hungry kiddo?” Sirius asked as he smelled the food wafting up the stairs.

“Uh huh,” Harry whispered.

“Good then let’s go eat,” Sirius said cheerfully before carrying Harry downstairs and back to the kitchen for breakfast.

Harry took a seat at the table once more, glancing warily at his godfather and then back to his plate of cut up pancakes. He couldnt believe this was all for him, but he wasnt about to say no. He wasnt crazy. He picked up his fork, and tried to eat neatly, but with the syrup and his tiny hands he ended up making quite a mess of his front but he was happy.

“Is it good?” Sirius asked in amusement as he watched his godson eat.

“It's vewy good,” he replied happily.

“That's what I want to hear. Today we are going shopping for some clothes and toys for you,” Sirius told him cheerfully.

“Fow me? Weally?” Harry asked in awe. He couldnt believe this, this was the best thing to ever happen to him.

“Yes, we are. We're just waiting for Remus to get here,” Sirius told him.

“Whewe did Wemus go?” Harry asked curiously.

“He took some of the botched potion in the lab, and went to Hogwarts yesterday to see if the potion's Professor there could figure out a cure for it,” Sirius said quickly. The only reason he hadn’t badmouthed Snape in that sentence because Harry was very observant for his age and he didn’t want to bring up anything and have Remus scold him for it later.

“Is he gonna come back today?” Harry asked softly.

“He should be, that's what he said when he flooed me this morning,” Sirius replied.

“What's flew-ed?” Harry asked in confusion.

“Floo, and it means like a call,” Sirius said carefully.

“Oh okay,” Harry replied satisfied with that answer as he went back to his breakfast.

“Now, I have something really important to ask you about Harry. And I would be happy if you didn’t lie to me alright?” Sirius asked him carefully.  
“Otay,” Harry replied, wanting to please his godfather. “I tell you da twuth,” he promised, hoping it wasn't anything bad.

“Why do you like to hide in the closet?” Sirius asked softly.

Harry gave the man a quizzical look, this was what he wanted to ask him? That seemed like a silly question to him. “Because it's small wike my cupboawd,” he said matter of factually.

“Your cupboard? And what is that?” Sirius said, swallowing thickly, as he felt his stomach drop. Surely Petunia, couldn't... she wouldn't do this to her own nephew right? He was jumping to conclusions right? But that thought was soon pushed out the window as soon as Harry answered him.

“Da cupboawd undew da staiws. Dat's my woom,” he said a bit proudly, but it was all he had ever known so he didn’t see it badly like everyone else would.

Sirius was staring at the boy in horror at what he had just admitted. He knew the child didn’t know what was so bad about it, but Merlin did those people have no heart? He swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of the sudden lump in his throat as he smiled at his godson.

“Finish your food kiddo,” he choked out.

“Kay,” Harry said cheerfully, oblivious to the man's inner turmoil.

Sirius kept the smile on his face even if he was anything but happened and forced himself to swallow his food regardless of the permanent lump in his throat. He didn’t want to worry the child.


End file.
